Unwanted SI or How to wake up on the beach
by ThatGermanGuyNamedDustin
Summary: You know how these Self-Insert stories usually go: Protag gets dumped into One Piece, gets an awesome Power-Up and animal sidekick then joins the plot and chaos ensues. Meet Mark from a small town in Germany who is a typical nerd who struggles in everyday life and gets the wonderful Opportunity to live inside his favorite Manga/Anime. Inspired by This Bites and the other good SIs
1. ROB is having fun

It all started out as a normal day for Mark.

He finally got out of work and drove his car home to spend the rest of his day on the Internet as always. He was a brown haired man with average height for his age of 21, coming close to the 180 cm. He isn't the most fit guy but still had some degree of muscle from working out every weekend.

After reading half the day he got ready for bed. He thought on his mundane Everyday life aka Torture and imagined how it would be like to get whisked away like in the SIs he reads.

With dread he activated his alarm on his phone and got to sleep.

"Atemlos durch die..."1 He deactivated his alarm. "Damn it works well when you can't stand the song..." he said to himself groggily and tried to sit up wondering why his bed sheet was away and his bed felt sandy. He jumped up in shock. "Wait since when is my bed a beach?!" he shouted.

That's when he got a notification on his phone.

"Finally awake?

Got you some time to notice.

Welcome to the Grand Line.

Hope you enjoy your stay.

Yours truly,

R.O.B."

"Scheiß die Wand an!"² he loudly said to himself after realizing he got what he wished for.

"At least provide me with some clothes and a way to survive you Shitty Bastard!" he wrote to the R.O.B. And he got hit in that exact moment with something hard on the back of his head.

"A Bag?" Mark muttered and unpacked it. He found his old Camping Equipment and some clothes in it. His phone alerted him of another message.

"That's all you get. No Power-Ups, no Companion and no way off this rock. Have fun!"

He slipped his phone into the holder on the Bag said to himself: "Nice try but I've seen enough survival shows to know what to do now. You even gave me my Knife. Lets see if I can remember all those tips." Later after the sun set he sat at a camp fire and ate some fruits he found. "And they always said I wasted my time watching all those Bear Grylls shows. At least I'm not drinking my own piss!" He already discovered that he was on a small island that had no big threats. Just some trees, a beach and some stones. But he knew better than to trigger good old Murphy's Law and was weary that he was still in the Grand Line if his "Benefactor" could be trusted

He build himself a little hut with some Sticks and a tarpaulin. "Okay tomorrow I will think of a way to leave this Rock. If I want to survive I need to find some form of civilization. And if this really is the One Piece world I would be dumb not to try and have some fun on the way. Because when you can live in the era of pirates you want to get out there." he said to himself and got to sleep.

1: Atemlos durch die Nacht: Some obnoxious song of the German Singer Helene Fischer that I use as my alarm to quickly wake up.

2: Scheiß die Wand an: German vulgar exclamation when something doesn't go like you thought it would.

Authors Note

Dustin here.

Phew. Finally wrote this damn thing after carrying it in my head for years. And hopefully it isn't as shitty as I think it is. But damn is it hard to write good if you judge yourself after some of the best.

Still I hope that after anyone read this that you found it interesting and if there are some mistakes here and there please tell me, cause English is only my second language and I'm writing this to broaden my Horizon and have some fun on the way. This first chapter comes in at approximately 500 words but I hope to write more when the real plot begins.


	2. How to successfully get a ride?

Disclaimer: I will possibly never own One Piece or one of the other franchises I mention in this or any other chapter of this fan-made story. But I do own a bag of skittles so I got that going for me which is nice.

Hows it going guys.

Never and I swear NEVER would I have thought to have this much resonance after such a small first chapter. So thank you to all the follows and favorites. Also I'm thinking of answering all the reviews before every chapter.

To jurassicdinodrew: I'm thinking of adding additional crew members yeah, but I still want to make this my own thing so I can't tell if the mentioned characters will join and what professions they will have. In the case of Jinbei I have to say that he already is a member in canon so why shouldn't he join here. Nonetheless thank you for the review and hope you have fun with this chapter.

To desaira: Thank you for the review. Hope that you enjoy this chapter too.

On the next morning, Marks resolve didn't change so he only got one problem.

"How do I get of of this rock?" he thought to himself while rekindling his campfire and eating some of his last fruits from yesterdays search. "Building a raft is out of the picture with the few trees I've got here. So my only chance is to wait for a ship to pass by?" he asked himself and evaluated that he would survive only for two or three weeks if he's lucky because he got limited food resources and no way to get drinking water. In that moment he got a message on his phone. "Must be my friendly benefactor. What does he want now after crash-landing me here?" He told himself and went to read the message.

"Got a Problem? Don't know how to get off this island? I could help you but it won't come cheap.

I give you a way off the Island. The catch would be that you will get into contact with a real and dangerous pirate crew looting your escape ship."

Mark pondered on this. "Let me get this straight. I get off this island but have then the problem that I have to fight a whole pirate crew alone for my survival." he tipped as an answer.

"Yeah that's basically it." was the short answer.

"Its better to have at least a chance to get somewhere instead of dying here.

Do I get some time to maybe make some weapons?" he asked the R.O.B.

"Yeah if I go back from my no help policy you have to work for it. Now look up you only get one chance." with this cocky answer Mark looked up to see a big cruise ship on the horizon.

"F*** you" he screamed and took one of the logs of his campfire to use it as something to get the attention of the cruise ship. "HELP! I'M STUCK HERE!" he shouted repeatedly and saw that the ship gets nearer and a life boat gets watered down where two sailors row to Marks position.

He packs his things and stowed his army knives in the front pouch of his jeans.

"What a lucky guy you are. We just barely saw you." One of the sailors said who looked so unspectacular that he basically screamed NPC thought Mark. "Now get on we are on a schedule to get our cargo to Logue Town." He said and thats what surprised Mark. "Logue Town? Aren't we on the Grand Line?" He asked. "Grand Line? We're in the East Blue!" The first sailor exclaimed.

"Oh. Must mean that I passed the Red Line in the storm." lied Mark hoping the two would buy it.

"Seems so." the second sailor said to him after starting to row. "They believe me..." thought Mark happy. "Shitty R.O.B. Telling me I'm in the Grand Line." he ranted mentally. After some minutes they reached the ship and got on. The sailors got back to work and the Captain of the ship came up to Mark. "Greetings young lad. One of the lucky survivors of last weeks storm are we?" he asked Mark who mentally thanked Goda for the miracle that his lie is plausible. "Yes. Sadly I seem to be the only one." he told him. "Aye. Thats some sad story you living there. But the important thing is that you live" the captain went on. After that the two went to the captains cabin and there Mark saw some pretty important documents lined with the symbol of the marines. "The two sailors mentioned some important cargo. Seems like its for the marines in Logue Town?" he ask the captain.

"Aye. Some Devil Fruit got found here in little East Blue. Marines thought it would be best to bring it to Captain Smokers base to watch over it. Apparently is called the Storage-Storage Fruit."

In that moment both heard canon shots. "We're under attack! Pirates!" A sailor shouted and the captain told Mark to stay where he is while watching over the attack. "Aye Aye Captain!" Mark said half mocking to himself after the captain left. "Soooo. Seems like the attack R.O.B. Mentioned started." he said to himself and eyed the safe with the fruit. "Storage-Storage Fruit? Seems like something with potential." Mark thought to himself. "But none of the marines in canon had such a power. So apparently this fruit gets lost in the fight? Would be such a waste." he said to himself and decided to take the Fruit for himself. He searched the desk of the captain and was dumbstruck to find the key to the safe in the first drawer. "Seems like East Blue really is some back water place who doesn't see much action." Mark concluded and opened the safe to really find the fruit. "Better keep this in my bag and search for a weapon" he said after hearing battle noise outside. He looked for something that could work and saw a saber that hung as a trophy over the captains desk. "Seems better than nothing." Mark said and gave the sword some swings to test its weight. "Should work he thought and plotted to only use it if he has to. "Better get back to the life boats and jump ship. Logue town should be east from here if the sailors are right." He said after remembering the small talk he had with them on his way to the ship. "Where is the Fruit!" Mark heard some gruff voice shout nearby. "I don't know what you are talking about!" the captain answered. "But you attacked my cruise that is under marine protection. I, Lieutenant Tsugi will beat you" He said. "Some Undercover Marine you are? Lets see if you can live up to your claim!" he threatened and Mark decided he had to help him. "This man saved me from that island and from sure death. Now its my turn." He swung the door open and ran into the open to see that every sailor had a pirate and they seemed to lose and also that the captain was bleeding from a head wound. "How about you take someone on who got a chance to beat you!" Mark challenged the Pirate captain who looked like a male version of Alvida and even got a wooden club. "Ha! Some cocky little punk thinks he can challenge me? Do you even know who I am? I'm Shibo the sea-bandit I got a bounty of 5 Million Beli on my head!" "What else? I don't give a shit how much your ass is worth I'm gonna kick it regardless!" Mark said and jumped with the sword down and swung for the hand holding the club.

"Thinking this works?" Shibo said and sidestepped the attack and aimed his club for Marks exposed back. "Yeah I do!" he said and made a u-turn running into the arm of the pirate resulting in said pirate to lose the momentum and stop the assault going back a few steps. "Thinking your some hot shot? I show you how its done he said and smacked his club into the captain who was on the sidelines knocking him through the wall. "Captain!" Mark cried and didn't see the second pirate attacking him from behind and smacking his fist into Marks right arm. Mark dropped the saber and crouched down. "Not so good now?" taunted Shibo but Mark staggered up. "Seeing how I'm the last one up I have no way to win this. But I know where the safe for the fruit is." he said and showed the key to the safe to Shibo. "In the captains quarter is the safe. Let me, all the sailors and the captain go and I give you this!" Mark tried to negotiate. "And why don't we just knock you out and take it?" The captain said taking a step towards Mark. "Because I will drop this key into the ocean then!" he said holding said key over the railing. "OK you won!" Shibo said and all the Life boats were full of the sailors and the unconscious captain. "Here the key!" Mark shouted from his own boat to the pirates and threw it to Shibo. "Why are you giving them the key?" the sailors ask after they all took off. "Because I've got the fruit!" Mark exclaimed and showed it to the sailors. In that exact moment you heard canon fire and a marine ship came up and after some minutes the pirates lost and fled to the open sea. Mark and the Sailors were all brought to Logue Town and after the captain regained his conscious he and the captain of the marine ship praised Mark for his bravery. "I only did what I thought was right. You helped me and I helped you." Mark said and wanted to go only for some marine to come into the cabin. "The fruit got away. Some Sailors said you had it." he said pointing on Mark. "Sadly I bluffed..." he said and showed an empty chest where the fruit were hold in the safe. "When I was left in the office the porthole were open and the key was placed in the safe itself." He lied. "Seems to be a thief were there first." he continued.

"Damn. Smoker will get me for this!" Tsugi said and even the marine captain didn't catch on.

The rest of the trip was event less so Mark noticed he got a message.

"That was some interesting things you did there. The fruit is now yours? Not what I expected but welcome. You may want to have a look in the newspaper soon." was all it said. "Does someone have a newspaper for me?" Mark asked some of the marines on deck and got one. After reading it a Bounty poster fell out. "Wanted Dead or Alive. Monkey D. Luffy 30.000.000 Beli" "Thats perfect!" Mark thought and he thought of ways to go on for the rest of the trip so he would be prepared for the chaos that would soon ensue. After landing in Logue Town the marines brought Mark to their base and paid him 100.000 Beli for helping bring in Shibo who was caught in the aftermath of the marines arrival. "Thought about maybe joining the marines Mark?" Tsugi even asked him to which he politely declined. "I don't think the marines are the right place for me, Sorry Lieutenant. I'm thinking of taking on some small time jobs and get some money to get back into the Grand Line so I can get back home." "Ok. But if you change your mind you're always welcome lad." he said and wished you a good time in Logue Town. Mark then decided to look around town for not only a place to eat but also a job and a place to stay. "The straw hats will be here soon. But sadly Oda never wrote about the traveling time. I also got no clue how long it was till the newspaper." he pondered and didn't watch where he went bumping into someone when going through a shopping district. "Ouch! Watch where you're going!" a familiar female voice exclaimed. "Sorry I was lost in thoughts!" Mark exclaimed and saw that he ran over Nami of all people. "I'm so sorry." he said and reached a hand helping her up. "Thank you. At least someone with manners." she said starting to pick up her shopping bags. "Let me help you with these." Mark said, which was good for Nami so she dumped all her bags on him. "Me and my crew are docking at the east port. But hurry up seems like a storm is coming." she commanded and Mark trotted after her, only now realizing he got tricked by her into being her mule. "You and your crew? Are you sailors?" Mark asked faking cluelessness as to who she or the rest of the straw hats are. "Oh. Did I say crew I mean I'm traveling alone. I only have some staff working for me." Nami lied, and anybody other than Mark would have believed her if it weren't for the fact he knew beforehand. After arriving at the port Nami said she could go the rest of the way alone but Mark insisted to help her. "Its very nice of you but if my staff sees you with me it could become troublesome for you." She said and it started to rain and the wind started to pick up. "HEEEY! Nami!" the two heard someone shout and Ussop came around the corner carrying a giant fish. "Sanji left so I have to carry this alone! I could need a hand." he said not seeing the situation Nami was in. "Staff?" Mark asked her smugly. "Shut up." Nami said angry and hurried her bags on the caravel ignoring the fact that Mark was still there who started helping Ussop. "Thanks but who are you?" the liar said. "I'm Mark. Just a friend I would say. No one you pirates should worry about." he said and went over to Nami. "I have a proposition for you. Could you take me near the Grand Line maybe? I'm trying to get back home." "You are asking some pirates for a ride? Seems like you are insane." Nami exclaimed "Its not my decision but why are you even asking us in the first place?" she asked. "I heard of what your lot did here in East Blue. You are all good people so I thought is should try it. I will even help just take me with you please." Mark asked and Nami said she would talk with Luffy about this. In this Moment the wind picked up and Nami decided they had to go on without the others cause otherwise the sails would rip. After starting to sail away the three heard a loud shout: "GUM GUM ROCKET!" and in that moment three men shot up to the ship. One, a guy in a red vest and a straw hat landed on his feet, while the other two crashed into the railing and the mast respectively. "Shishishi. That was fun wasn't it? Zoro? Sanji?" he laughed while the other two tried to strangle him. "Never do that again! Shitty Captain!" said a blonde guy in a suit. "And the mayhem begins!" thought Mark to himself braving himself for the insanity that will ensue now that he is on the Going Merry. "Wait a moment? Who is this Nami!" said Luffy. In that moment Sanji and the other one, Zoro, stopped trying to kill their captain and looked to Mark. Standing kick-ready and drawing their swords respectively. "Euh. I am Mark and I wanted to ask if your captain would be so nice as to bring me with you to the Grand Line. I lived there and wanted to get back." "OK." was the simple answer of Luffy and after that they were back to strangling him. "Is this normal?" I ask Ussop who's standing on the sidelines after Nami started stopping the mock-mutiny. "Say farewell to your sanity if you've got any my friend." he exclaimed and that's how Mark became a guest of the Straw Hat Pirates on their Journey.

Authors Note

Wow. How long has it been since I last wrote this much on something outside of school.

Nonetheless hope you all had fun with this chapter and please keep up the continued support.

So long till next time.


End file.
